I Am The Only Perfect Choice

Unfortunately, you’re a late life revelation, like saturated fats are super bad and the Bible’s just a book. Seriously, an anthology, best bits, picked to make the most sense. Or, some, anyway.

Then, I learnt lessons, like:

#1 Don’t trust if he stands you upĀ &

#2 Limit the chances you give &

#3 Retrain your brain to think of something else &

#4 Choose to love another.

Self-help’s a worse religion, really, because it’s a course changer, convincing you better’s out there, diminishing neon to nothing. But with cliff burials, ground shifts, and coffins stick like Jenga bricks, diagonally. And you’re going to fix that shit eventually, whether you want to or not.

Past aside, because that’s patched if you ask me, a free-pass, all apologies out, what if we never met? Would that be best?

Because I am so in love with you right now. Sorry.

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You’re All Going To Hell Anyway, So You Might As Well Do Something For Yourself

Jack says, “Some films justify cheating and even endorse it, as if the writer’s after a way of rose-tinting a past they can’t really change.”

I ask for examples and Jack gives a comprehensive list that’s almost faultless, although his romantic comedy knowledge isn’t as full as I’d like in someone I’m considering seriously.

“What about Something Borrowed?” I ask him.

“That I didn’t get,” he replies. “The first half I couldn’t tell who we were vying for. And when she had the chance to fuck Jim Halpert and maybe even marry him and didn’t take it, the character seemed unknowable, as if the writer went back and re-wrote parts of her own life to feel better about them.”

“Isn’t that everyone’s dream?” I ask Jack. “To change things we can’t?”

“Not mine,” he replies, then he reaches for his phone, and I hear the message send, knowing I’m a bad overlap, like two people’s coats on a bus seat awkwardly layering or two flat fridge magnets, one peeling from the heater heat, the other more firmly stuck, only just. Not every action’s comprehensible so it makes sense that in films sometimes people make fucking stupid decisions.