You liked Drew before anyone did, read horror novels in middle school, felt cheated by the Prodigy song, a rip off.
Ryan didn’t mean to do it or he did but his motives have never been pre-figurable like some people’s, and you know we’re all supposedly destined but that doesn’t explain newspaper headlines or the plots to horror movies based on truth unless it’s the devil at work but you can’t pre-figure him can you?
And it’s the graceless unpicking of the rules you grew up with until you’re unsure if it’s disappointment or freedom you have or how to tell the difference because Stockholm Syndrome’s happened with almost every boyfriend, girlfriend, priest.
You’re not saying no feeling is real only you couldn’t assert with any authority why something is the way it is. And if books taught you anything it’s the potential for disaster, the absolution of men by men, the imminent dissolution of society, with fire, eventually, with plagues first.
And Drew was the powerful woman you loved when you weren’t powerful. You watched her exhaust every option without devastation. You read books she’s in the film of. You only read books there are films of. Ryan started the fire and she did and the Bible predicted it.