Because we’ve fucked, fucked five years ago or four, you think my emotions are thread pickable, place-able like buses on timetables. But if someone asked which celebrity I’d most want to sleep with, all things considered, how would you answer?
And it’s not the not knowing. There are things I don’t know about you, like, how much Botox you’d have if cash wasn’t a motivator and who you think would win between Ben Affleck and Matt Damon and if you’ve swallowed bubblegum and who you’ve kissed since 1995 and when you last ate pesto.
It’s the levelling. The Top 5 lists and history-thickeners. Facts important as Bible passages, prayer beads and meditation outfits. The names of Jennifer’s unborn children.