Tom Cruise IV

We were at a bar. It wasn’t Cocktail but when I say that Tom Cruise and I were in a bar everyone will just think Cocktail. I didn’t know what he wanted me to say but it was something. I’ve seen that glass-eyed sigh on other men but no-one’s profile ever looked so good.

I said, any told-you-so didn’t cut it and I’d never say that because there were reasons he didn’t pick me, then, when he picked her and those reasons would probably stand now. Probably.

His smile was Jack’s pre-apocalypse, Jared Leto in My So-Called Life, that guy whose name I’ve tried to forget since I first heard it but haven’t even since Facebook deleting.

He asked, “What if I’m wrong?” and I asked, “Was wrong?” and he said, “Is. Was. Almost.” And the moment to lean in, prompt, was undercut with absence which is the absolute wrong impression on which to start something.

Later, he defended me when my family were risked, troubled, taken, or trapped and I woke up reeling; Fourth wife, fourth wife, fourth wife.


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