I saw this movie with Cameron Diaz called The Box and it was sort of science fiction and she had a wig on or it might have been dye, but oftentimes a person’s hair is really a wig and it can take you five years just to notice it. Or I guess it could be a toupée. So secrets don’t surprise me now. I like finding things out and I read Wikipedia at work when I’m bored and six months ago I didn’t know where Norway was, three months, France, and there’s so much I could tell you now, if you’d only ask me. I have a photographic memory, a head of totally genuine hair and a box full of photos of people I used to fuck or mess around with or fancy, which is kind of a creepy mix considering most of them don’t even know me. And every time I look, each time they’re fished out, I could swear another turns out to be false. There’s always one more wig.

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