I Have Never

Drew Barrymore made it cute, sweet, to not kiss anybody ’til late. I didn’t wait long. Fifteen, sixteen. Who remembers eventually? Like listing GCSE grades on application forms once you have postgraduate degrees. Who fucking cares. Exactly.

Michael Vartan’s a good first kiss. Jennifer Garner broke his heart. That’s a bit of a legend. Fan fiction for them was jelly, however cold just submerge me in it. I’ll take the fleshy coolness on my thighs.

Illiteracy’s not something you sum up in a sentence and my parents aren’t it and I don’t know who wrote this and I don’t see how that’s the worst in the world, how that could be the worst thing. I mean, you wrote this. You’re doing great. You can spell words like ‘my’ and ‘are’. Take a rest. Tackle bigger problems tomorrow.

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