Crotchety

You slept somewhere else last night, can’t afford the snacks your friends want but buy them anyway because you know what left out is like – you never had brand trainers, tracksuits, jeans when you were young, and you don’t now, so why shouldn’t you get Tasti D-Lite? Why shouldn’t you have chocolate?

Your etiquette is off in every situation and you’re lucky when you don’t say cunt or something you shouldn’t.

On TV people walk in heels, fast, but your flats hurt your ankles and your skirt can’t get tighter when you’re eating less but it seems to, even when your grocery budget evaporated with your parents and every job advertisement is for someone just like you but not you and every man that you meet wants someone like you, but not you, and you wonder what the slight alteration you could do is, to make every question have a yes answer.

But most verbal exchanges are no, are maybe, are next week, politely. And you don’t know why you sleep with who you do but you do because what else are you going to do?

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