The second I say I hear it, Fix You or Shiver or god fucking forbid Yellow, remind me who we were once, when we earned five fifty-five every hour and thought nothing of spending fifty pound in Oasis, sixty in the Warehouse sale. I was good at maths once, but that was the initial slip then the end of it.

Everything is boring. I don’t care enough about anthemic music, Chris Martin’s kids’ names, P Diddy’s latest incarnation, Prince’s. I’ve never known what really matters, not had an inclination, still don’t. Once watched three Jessica Simpson movies in the same day and you didn’t know she made that many. But she did. She’s nothing if not prolific.

Unemployment’s fashionable for film makers. They were there once. The rest of us watch, unable or unprepared to claw our way out of bedrooms let alone lives.