I am not your first choice, second or third. If the world ends you’d rather die. But I urge you to make a list anyway, of every pro and con. Decide formally before you declare it in front of Alex, Charlie and Tom.
I have hobbies. I’ve seen a lot of movies. I know the names of every Beatles’ song and every Queen one. I’m not averse to bad TV if you like that. We could start with the nineties and work forwards – Ally McBeal and Buffy through to Grey’s Anatomy.
We have more in common than you think. I like my middle name in your mouth and my forename also. I have more money than guys your age. I have a working knowledge of the Bible. I won’t make jokes about virginity, monks, nuns, the sorts of topics you get ribbed for in the canteen. I’ve listened longer than you know.
You are my favourite month now. I met a girl called November but she was married. Otherwise I guess you could call me a fetishist.