Jack says, “You fit under that heading. If that’s a concept, a recurring character, the woman that writers write when they’re writing films, that’s you. You’re it.”
I ask him for definitions and he shows me Wikipedia and I say, “Well that’s hardly comprehensive,” and he laughs, says, “Sure, there are other films too, maybe a hundred more they’ve missed off this list.”
So we list them and after Jack runs a finger down my neck and says, “We should be specific about this. We should pin down each actress that’s played this, each person that’s made this film.” I ask what that’ll achieve and he shrugs.
I stare at the Artex-ed ceiling wondering what they have in common that I don’t have:
1. They’re all waifs.
2. They can act.
3. They’ve kissed Jim Carrey, Zach Braff, Orlando Bloom.
4. They advertise make-up in magazines.
5. They didn’t check their bank balance in 100 years.